Anticipation and other complicated emotions.

Remember those Christmas Eves when you would go to bed as late as possible? I used to. I used to believe that if I went to sleep as close to Christmas Day as possible that I would sleep for less time and be able to get to my presents faster. I was filled with a sense of anticipation. What would I get, would I like it, what would my brother get? So many questions. For some reason I thought that when I got older I would stop anticipating the joys of Christmas Day present opening....but I still go to sleep as late as possible. In college there are many different things that can fill you with anticipation.

Like for instance those days leading up to getting the results from a previous test. Nervousness, Dread, and Anticipation. Those are your feelings for that. As you get closer to the end of college it becomes anticipation of graduation. The finish line is straight ahead, all you need to do now is sprint for it. And then there is the other type of nervous anticipation that involves other people in college. Like, I'm going to ask this person out I hope I don't get rejected. Or I'm going to go dancing, I wonder if anyone will dance with me. Not so much worries as random thoughts that sit in your brain and play out different scenarios based on what you know about your subject. The more you know the longer and more elaborate the scenario.

Is there a difference between the nervous feeling you get right before you stand before a lecture hall full of students and present something and the nervous feeling you get right before a first date? Yes, No? I'm not sure chemically speaking its the same reaction. A quickening of pulse, a slightly queezy feeling, and a nice dosage of anticipation (either for the end of the presentation to come so you can sit down, or for the date to start so you can determine whether you have finally found a successful match or are just wasting your time again.) In truth I'm not sure if the feelings are different. For that matter are any feelings different based on the circumstances that they occur in?

For instance are you the same kind of happy when a sibling is born as you are when you get married? Or are you the same kind of frustrated when you cant understand a concept in class as you are when you cant seem to open a pickle jar. Or even....are you the same sad as when a friend betrays you as you are when a loved one dies? Do the circumstances matter? Can your emotions (chemical reactions brought on by a change in your environment causing  a hormonal shift in your body) truly be completely different in one situation and the next?

.....This post was brought to you by that 1:35 am feeling and too much time to myself. Thank You.